I would not suggest to anyone to take two months and spend a summer without anything to do (like I just did). That is, unless you have an understanding that it is going to be a time used by God to pivot some things in your life. As in, "Ok, I'm not really doing much or involved in a lot of activities or projects right now. If there are things You need to change up, God, go ahead!"
I wonder if anyone else has come to a place in their life where they realize they've gotten to the end of a season. There's no big billboard that announces that (though it would be helpful!), but often there's a sense of something closing, or a sense of restlessness with the way things have previously gone. When you come to that place, and you will, I suggest these things:
- Say yes. Recognize that there's something being stirred up in you. A restlessness, some new inspiration, or even an obvious finish like the ending of a job or project might signal that there's something different to come. It's a way God is getting your attention.
- Pray and seek the Lord. Consult with Him first. This, after all, is coming from Him. He's already planned our steps, and He fills our sails. If your course is changing it is because of Him.
- Look at the signs. Take yourself out of the equation and look back at the past year or season of your life. But look at it as it is, not as how you would like it to be. Is there a job you've been at that is giving you unrest? Look at the reality of that job in what actually happened, not as how you see it leading to your dream career. Is there a relationship that has just not felt right? Look at the reality of that relationship, not as how you're idealizing it into something it is not. This can be hard; you may find you'd rather keep looking through your own filter than at the reality of the situation. But you will probably find a recognition of what needs to change.
- Consult your closest relationships. A spouse. Parents. A close friend. Elders at your church. Those who know you best and whom God has placed in relationship with you are those who will be able to help you discern the right path, and to make the wise choices. They'll also be able to check you if there are improper motives directing your steps, and not the leading of the Lord.
- Take the steps. It takes a great deal of humility to admit that something needs to be changed. Much emotion will also be involved when steps are made: fear in facing the unknown, guilt for leaving projects behind or thinking you're letting people down, the stress of effectively communicating what is going on in your life. But taking steps towards something new can be exciting and exhilarating, and may give you a sense of peace you hadn't had before, or lost and need to regain. God created us with a specific blueprint for our lives; sometimes you're taking steps to recover that blueprint. Think and ponder and make plans. And then act.
- Grieve your change in direction...but not too long. You may feel let down that the thing you thought you were supposed to embark on has somehow not worked. That's not it. It did work - for the season you were supposed to be in it. The real tragedy would be to dismiss a year or five years or ten years of lessons and growth and spiritual maturity and relational wisdom as wasted time. There is no wasted time. Every situation prepares you for the next situation; every relationship prepares you for the next relationship.
- Walk, and trust. You may see clearly the changes that need to be made and why. You may not. You may be taking a step at a time, knowing that each step is building on one another, with no sense of where it's going. It's Ok. Just keep moving. If God is the author and finisher of our faith, and guides our steps, then we could never step off onto the wrong path. Keep walking. And trust Him. He's guiding you somewhere.
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